Hi! I’m Andee, and I teach humans how to operate their brains differently so they can transform their lives. If you’re a new subscriber, welcome! I write stories- mainly about my life in NYC, the inner landscape, and how the human brain fucks us out of being able to do cool shit. I also write about love, consciousness, and best practices for not telling someone to go fuck themselves. (Hint: Wait three days.) Great to have you here!
I got a ton of great feedback from humans about how my piece on shame resonated with them this week.
Read it here:
"Shame" is optional
Full disclosure!!! I figured out why my friend left that comment “What caused the shame?”
I fucking USED THE PHRASE “What a shame!” I used it as… placeholder text to mean, “Oh well.” It was like “bless you” after a sneeze. A nonsense, meaningless phrase. (Well, to me anyway.) How stupid. 😂 I changed the phrase to “that was disappointing” as to be more clear in the OG piece.
I just wanted to tell y’all for transparency’s sake.
I guess it was necessary for me to get activated, though, because apparently, experiencing shame is common not just with Boomers but throughout all the generations. I got a lot of feedback from my Millennial peers and some Xers about feeling that same shame.
What the hell is GOING ON!!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT!?
Gahhhhhhh!
So, first of all, shame is the lowest energy level in terms of consciousness.
Let’s just play with David Hawkins’ work for a minute, who wrote the book The Map of Consciousness Explained.
did a FANTASTIC seven-part series about this. He’s much more sciencey than I am; I more commonly spread awareness about consciousness through artful storytelling. Scott tells stories but includes more facts. I’ll link all seven parts to his series below 👇🏻:If you’re in for a deep dive, get on it. It’s not only a great series, but Scott has created some amazing images that will help you visualize what the map of consciousness truly looks like. He is very thorough. Parts 3 and 4 really get into “the map” and ascending.
I’m kind of a stickler for not re-sharing visuals I don’t have the rights to, but I’ll also link to a LinkedIn post by someone I follow, Jeffrey McNulty, which also contains a visual of the map. View it here.
Between all those links, I hope by now you have a colorful rainbow in your mind.
When I talk about the “God feeling,” I’m talking about that energy that is found in the upper levels of consciousness.
As
says, “You can’t think your way through a system built on vibrations. You have to feel (or sense) your way through it.”As we live in what we believe to be “the world” and “matter” and “existence,” I think most people don’t take the time to grok that it’s all made up. All of it is an illusion. We experience ourselves, our consciousness, and what we have come here to learn.
This is big. It’ll blow your mind right open, but isn’t that better than accepting the humdrum that you’ve been following for three, four, five, six, maybe seven decades that keeps you unlawfully afraid?
What does “unlawfully afraid” mean? Fuck if I know. It feels right.
Fear is a pretty fucked up thing.
When I wrote the piece “How am I Wrong,” my friend
said to me that he realized every conflict on Earth could be eliminated by individuals, governments, countries, etc, asking that question.I laugh because the people who are the angriest about “the world” seem to be the people who ask themselves that question the least. After all, they’re “right.”
The phrase “be in the world but not of it” is not just a nonsense line that some religion touted. It quite literally ties to all of this. Science and spirituality are constantly trying to prove one another. I get the joy of seeing it most clearly because nobody indoctrinated me into “you’re a sinful being” at the age of seven.
Again… Sunday morning. Garfield and Friends. Cereal.
Back to “shame.”
This is an abrupt shift.
A former client of mine texted me yesterday to tell me she has officially created TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS in her business.
Let’s celebrate her, please. 🎉
I’ve been waiting for the text.
I knew it was close.
It didn’t happen all at once; it has been accelerating, but this has been due to her badassery, her thump-thumping, her eliminating limiting beliefs, and her willingness to go forward ruthlessly, learning, fucking up, having that be OK, learning more, excelling, triumphing, expanding, deep-diving… SHE IS brilliant. And, she will move on to create $20,000 next. Then $30,000. Then $100,000. Then a million. Who the fuck knows?!
I WANT TO CELEBRATE HER BECAUSE SHE IS AN AMAZING HUMAN!
I have watched her now for about two years grow and change and embody more of her radiant light.
Listen, I know there are marketers on the internet who make things look easy, but creating your first HUNDRED DOLLARS is a milestone. When I did it, I almost puked. So when someone can create TEN GRAND!? That is huge.
That is courageous. And, she’s a human of service. That’s elevated consciousness.. She’s someone I’ve seen open her eyes wider every day and ascend the map.
I was jazzing her the fuck up in a text and she said to me:
“I'm kinda flying right now from your words! Maybe I didn't feel it at first, like from your Substack "Shame is Optional." Which, btw, has had me thinking about it since the day I read it. That was some powerful shit. I felt like it was ME.”
How about all y'all? Do you feel that? You’re not alone. I’ve felt it.
Of course, we’re all jazzed for this former client of mine, right? (And she’s jazzed, too.)
We’re jazzed. We love it. (Please leave some congratulations for her in the comments!)
But when it’s us, do we remember to be jazzed? Or are we mentally into the “more” region already?” That unfillable hole of “not enough” seems to creep in.
The God feeling doesn’t come from creating stuff. It comes from being light.
It doesn’t come from “Hey, I made a chunk of money,” because a chunk of money is just a chunk of money.
It comes from having the courage to shine brightly in the world instead of shrinking. It comes from having the courage to say, “I do this, and I do it well.” It comes from choosing you as priority one.
My former client did that.
She doesn’t come from means. She had to fight some battles, which meant elevating and shedding. She’s had to let go of habits that didn’t serve her. She’s had to elevate higher than some family and friends. She’s had to venture out and find a community in the world that wasn’t right in her geographical area. (And some that is! She’s very active in her community!)
When clients tell me the line “I care about what people think” they usually mean “I care about what one to three people think.”
But those one to three people— man, they can have you by the balls.
I’d NEVER want to trade having a loving family, but every time I go to make a decision for "Andee” I have to mentally fight off the presumed upcoming “abuse” from my family about how it isn’t what they would do.
I have a strong, poignant memory, and … it could be completely false for all I know… but it’s of my mother yelling at me, “Why won’t you conform!?”
And me, standing proud, saying, “Because the people who change the world don’t.”
I don’t know if I said that to her in those words in that moment, but I did many times through those early years. At almost 40, she’s somewhat accepted conformity isn’t happening. Back then, though, dammit, I’d have rathered lose judgmental, conditional love than be “priority two.”
Funny… she never stopped loving me. She kept judging me, but the love still flowed.
BE “PRIORITY ONE.”
Do, for you. Not to receive for the self alone but to honor your highest objective on this planet. You came here TO DO THAT THING.
When you do, you are being the light.
Honor you and your truth.
Choose what is right for you.
Go your way.
CREATE.
Move in silence.
Then tell everybody when the job is done.
Stay beautiful.
For the lurkers who are ready…
One of my clients is finishing in two weeks, and I am ready to take on another. (Perhaps even two.)
Every few months in this newsletter I put out the feelers to the lurkers who have been here, resonating with all the words, reading the stories, FEELING THE FEELS, and are ready to have a different life, experience, and BEing.
IF you are curious about how that works, and how it can help you get stuff you want in your life (and why you don’t have that stuff yet) go to my website and fill out THE SHORTEST FORM EVER to inquire about coaching.
I hear that coaching gets a bad rap. It’s an unregulated industry, which means we all do it differently. It can be powerful, or it can be pancake Salisbury steak garbage.
The only way you’ll really know is to talk to me about it. That’s what the form does. It opens a conversation, which starts via email. You won’t even have to show me your face if you don’t want. (I mean you eventually will, but you get it.)
Ah. "Why don't you conform?!" The bane of modern life.
Conformity is key to supremacy, to control, to divide-and-conquer. You and I write from different places and to different constituents, yet we so often discuss the same concepts, don't we? Because it's all really about the human condition and experience.
Spirituality and science are not mutually exclusive, as so many of us well know. It heartens me to see the mirrors and windows we hold up for each other.
I really appreciate how you are talking about shame here Andee. For many years I’ve unknowingly kept this invisible divide between myself and my desires, my dreams, my creations, all of it. I “thought” that I was leading life through the ❤️, but in reality there was always shame, resentment, and judgment latched on to parts of me that I wasn’t willing to face head on.
Over the last month I crossed paths with someone that cut to a level in my heart and soul that I had never allowed access to before. Even though I didn’t know her yet, her words of love, compassion, and understanding rather than shame and judgment helped me accept this part of me that for years always led to progressively demoralizing vices (porn addiction).
I feel myself as priority one now more than ever before. Each day I step more fully into my ✨
Massive congratulations to your client 🤗