We create straightjackets and then sit in gleeful anticipation of the moment we can cast stones at the ones who break its delicate linens.
Monogamy for men was the collective price we agreed to pay for societal stability, but doesn't stem from any biological imperative. The hypergamous harems of the Middle East are the closest things we have to how we actually evolved, but say that in a crowded room and the long knives are drawn by everyone.
Reading your story, Andee, I’m struck by the depth of self-reflection and honesty you bring to such complex experiences. Your willingness to revisit the past without judgment, and to share the lessons you’ve learned about love, connection, and the weight of expectations, is truly commendable. You’ve shown real empathy for both yourself and others, and your openness invites others to reflect on their own journeys. Thank you for trusting us with your truth; your candor is a gift. And one that keeps on giving, my friend.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown
So few people are willing to write or speak openly about their vulnerability. Most avoid it, afraid of being judged or seen as weak by friends, family, or even strangers. But your honesty is remarkable. Your willingness to be completely open and transparent is deeply moving—and incredibly brave.
We need more stories like yours. Our modern world values a facade of perfection. No one exists in that form and never will.
I appreciate your words but I think more importantly, what I appreciate is the acknowledgment that perfection is a facade. I believe (as do many) that humanity is evolving. And through that evolution, we’ll come to love more deeply. All I do is share my experience and hope that others can feel freer to do the same.
We are all evolving and learning. Sometimes for me it is 3 steps forward and 5 steps back. I have fucked up so many times that I have lost count. Just ask my friends and family.
But my options are when a mess up: a) give up, or b) get up, dust myself off and keep moving. I choose to keep moving and learning...
The sacredness of sex, the idea of the holy, is something that is missing from Western Civilization. No judgment. It takes a whole framework of support, which we don't have. We have no wise elders.
I admire your honesty and vulnerability, Andee. The more I read of our (not just your) struggles with the past, and pained reflections on what we (not just you) have been through the more my current teacher's emphatic message speaks to me. Much of what we do in life is done because we're not okay. And we try everything we can find outside to be okay. I'm very much a work in progress, but I get that. Once we're okay with US, okay inside, none of that matters. At some point we can learn to be grateful for the lessons provided, become stronger people, and even be someone others may emulate. Easy? Shit, no! But attaining that level of release is a fine aspiration, for those who can do the work. Keep it coming my friend.
We create straightjackets and then sit in gleeful anticipation of the moment we can cast stones at the ones who break its delicate linens.
Monogamy for men was the collective price we agreed to pay for societal stability, but doesn't stem from any biological imperative. The hypergamous harems of the Middle East are the closest things we have to how we actually evolved, but say that in a crowded room and the long knives are drawn by everyone.
Reading your story, Andee, I’m struck by the depth of self-reflection and honesty you bring to such complex experiences. Your willingness to revisit the past without judgment, and to share the lessons you’ve learned about love, connection, and the weight of expectations, is truly commendable. You’ve shown real empathy for both yourself and others, and your openness invites others to reflect on their own journeys. Thank you for trusting us with your truth; your candor is a gift. And one that keeps on giving, my friend.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown
Thank you for the courage to tell a story so many avoid.
Beautiful/powerful/real
❤️🙏🏻 I love you
I really like the second half.
I feel more seen now, being divorced, older, and more private, than when I was married, younger, and louder.
Now that I can have sex being single, I really seek understanding and company instead.
No more performative pics, trips, and actions as a married guy.
❤️❤️❤️
I so appreciate this comment, Erwin. Ty for sharing YOU a little bit more, here
So few people are willing to write or speak openly about their vulnerability. Most avoid it, afraid of being judged or seen as weak by friends, family, or even strangers. But your honesty is remarkable. Your willingness to be completely open and transparent is deeply moving—and incredibly brave.
We need more stories like yours. Our modern world values a facade of perfection. No one exists in that form and never will.
Thanks, David. 🙏🏻❤️
I appreciate your words but I think more importantly, what I appreciate is the acknowledgment that perfection is a facade. I believe (as do many) that humanity is evolving. And through that evolution, we’ll come to love more deeply. All I do is share my experience and hope that others can feel freer to do the same.
We all just want to love and be loved.
Agree completely Andee.
We are all evolving and learning. Sometimes for me it is 3 steps forward and 5 steps back. I have fucked up so many times that I have lost count. Just ask my friends and family.
But my options are when a mess up: a) give up, or b) get up, dust myself off and keep moving. I choose to keep moving and learning...
The sacredness of sex, the idea of the holy, is something that is missing from Western Civilization. No judgment. It takes a whole framework of support, which we don't have. We have no wise elders.
“We have no wise elders.” It’s so true. Very few.
I admire your honesty and vulnerability, Andee. The more I read of our (not just your) struggles with the past, and pained reflections on what we (not just you) have been through the more my current teacher's emphatic message speaks to me. Much of what we do in life is done because we're not okay. And we try everything we can find outside to be okay. I'm very much a work in progress, but I get that. Once we're okay with US, okay inside, none of that matters. At some point we can learn to be grateful for the lessons provided, become stronger people, and even be someone others may emulate. Easy? Shit, no! But attaining that level of release is a fine aspiration, for those who can do the work. Keep it coming my friend.
You have a wise teacher, Byron. I do love his work, and watching you evolve into your next beautiful iteration. Loving you.